Sunday, April 9, 2005

Below is this week's installment of A Course in Creation.   

•  Quado’s Message

•  A Few Words from Carrie/Recommendations

Quado’s Message:

Today, our focus will be criticism.  I wish for you to be consciously aware of all critical thoughts, words and deeds.  And I wish for you to change them the moment you are aware.

First, let us focus on self-criticism, that endless chattering voice that tells you about all the mistakes you have made in the past and makes you afraid to venture out and try new things.  Yes, you make mistakes.  Yes, you have so-called faults.  Yes, you stop short of the perfection which you seek through endless corrections of all that you do.

Stop this.  Recognize that your faults are exactly what make you the wonderful person that you are.  Recognize that your perfection consists of all these faults and imperfections.  You are perfect in your imperfection.  You are exactly right, exactly as you should be, right now.  When the criticism starts, just stop it dead in its tracks and say:  “I love and approve of myself.  I accept and love myself exactly as I am.”  Let this be your mantra for the week to counter any criticism of yourself.

After all, these are just old voices, the voices of your parents and siblings, the voices of your fear and doubt.  End their rule in your mind.  End it through vigilant policing of your mind and replacement of the critical thoughts with loving thoughts.  You can do it.

And now, let us turn our focus to the criticism of others.  I wish for you to realize that criticizing others hurts you even more than it hurts them.  It is as if each arrow you shoot is really a boomerang which circles around and hits you in the head.  You harm yourself deeply with each criticism you aim at another.

And so, this week, be consciously aware of critical thoughts of others.  Since you are also stopping the criticism of yourself, this should make it a bit easier, since you will not be measuring yourself against others, but instead accepting yourself in all of your wonder and glory exactly as you are.

And now, you will extend this favor to others.  The antidote to anger, criticism and judgment is very clear:  tolerance, acceptance, patience and forgiveness.  And so, when you feel the critical emotions and thoughts building within you, first, become consciously aware and secondly, take a deep breath and replace the noisy critical thought or emotion with one of loving tolerance and acceptance.

After all, you cannot change anyone else in any event.  They are as they are.  All you can to do is let them be.  You really have no choice, since the only thing you have control over is yourself:  your attitude, your thoughts, your loving response.  And so, do control yourself.  Recognize the criticism and stop it.  Replace it with a loving acceptance immediately.

What you will find as a result is a little miracle.  When you end the criticism in your mind, the people you have been so critical of begin to change.  They feel your lack of criticism.  They feel your tolerance and acceptance.  They experience it indirectly, through how they feel when they are around you, and they experience it directly, for your tone of voice changes, the look in your eye changes, your body language, your gestures, your words, all of this changes when you choose to replace criticism with loving acceptance.

It is your choice completely, and you can do it.  You can become a little miracle worker just through this one act.  You can make an enormous impression on those around you through this conscious choice. You can move from contentious relationships to easier, more loving ones.  You can end old battles by simply choosing not to fight.  You can end that need to be right and replace it with a desire to be compassionate, caring and loving.

I would also ask you to extend others the benefit of the doubt.  Do this in two ways.  First, assume that they will not continue to do the thing that irritates you so.  Do not walk into a conversation with someone assuming that you will not like them or what they say.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  Assume that they may say and do something which would please you.  Be open and allow them to change and grow.

And secondly, even if they do that irritating thing, stop yourself the minute you feel the irritation and frustration within you. Stop yourself and immediately replace it with tolerance.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  Assume that you may have misunderstood them.  Assume that they meant to be kinder than they were.  Assume that you misinterpreted their intentions and that they meant to do well.

Most people at most times are doing the best that they can.  They are trying to do what they believe will be accepted and give them the best response.  They are trying to deal with the confusion and fear which sometimes overwhelm them.  If you can but get past your judgment and criticism and instead give them a safe haven, a place in which they can make a mistake and still be accepted, you will find that they are very different people than they are when pushed into a corner and judged.

You can make this change.  You can become a safe haven for others.  They will find within your space a place where they can relax their guard and allow fear and doubt to rest for just a moment, long enough to show you the wonderful people they truly are, underneath their fearful desire to be loved and accepted in some way, to succeed in some way.

You have enormous power to free others from fear and doubt.  You have enormous power to make everyone around you blossom and open with the wonder that they are.  It all lies within you.  Make it your job this week to be the best, most loving, most compassionate and accepting person that you can.  Glow with tolerance and acceptance.  Open your mind and your heart to those you have closed off.  Give everyone another chance.  Provide a loving space for them and give them another chance within it.  You will be amazed at the results.

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